It’s finally here. Every wrestling fan’s least favourite end-of-year award ceremony. We know that every wrestling website, promotion and podcast does one, so we do as well. The only difference is that ours is the only one to have categories that people actually want to see. Badaboom, realist award ceremony in the room. How you doin’?
All votes are rounded up or down to the nearest number because decimal points are for fools….
The winner of ‘the best music in wrestling’ is…
Grado with Madonna’s Like a Prayer (60%)
It’s hard to think of an entrance in the world of wrestling that is more fun to be a part of that Grado’s as he picks up the first award here today in the wrestling world’s least prestigious award ceremony. Life is a mystery….
Runner up: Bray Wyatt – Live in Fear (27%)
Third Place: Dolph Ziggler – Here to show the world. (6%)
The winner of ‘the best facial hair in pro wrestling’ is…
Dave Mastiff (49%)
Why wouldn’t Dave Mastiff win? Have you seen his beard? It’s absolutely tremendous. Plus, imagine trying to tell Dave Mastiff that he didn’t win. He would annihilate you. Literally, annihilate. At least then your could take solace in the fact that that you had met your demise at the hands of a man with a truly glorious bit of man hair. You may have been robbed of a ‘final three’ place on British Boot Camp, Dave, but you SMASHED the top three of this epic contest. (Editor – The fact that Bobby Fish didn’t make the top three is a crime.)
Runner up: Zeb Colter (16%)
Third place: Daniel Bryan (11%)
Please come back…
British Wrestling on the tele (50%)
No more needs to be said. Easy answer. Hopefully ICW or PROGRESS will make this happen in 2015. Plus, the fact that Mad Man Manson breaks the top three shows that wrestling fans hate El Ligero.
Runner up: CM Punk (16%)
Third place: Mad Man Manson (14%)
Our readers voted ‘the best way to watch pro wrestling’ as being…
To attend the show (85%)
Weird that 15% of wrestling fans would prefer to not attend a show. To each their own.
Runner up: Network or Streaming service (4%)
Third place: Free TV (3%)
The winner of ‘the diva of the year’ is…
CM Punk (100%)
You guys said it, not us.
Runner up: N/A
Third place: N/A
The winner of ‘the best animal in wrestling’ is…
Dave Batista (38%)
I think….yep, this is the most popular big Dave has been in 2014. It must have been those awesome blue leggings he wore on his arms that time that won you all over. Then again, that rabbit is shite, isn’t it?
Runner up: Adam Rose’s mate in a bunny costume (28%)
Third place: Teddy Hart’s cat (23%)
And that’s that for the 2014 Calling Spots Alternative Wrestling Awards. Thank you to the few hundred people who wasted five minutes of their life voting. HOWEVER, the positive to come from this absolutely pointless Alternative Wrestling Awards ‘ceremony’ is that we do honour (seriously this time) three people each year in the Calling Spots Hall of Fame. We collected the votes at the same time as the above questions, we have already counted and verified the votes and we will announce the winners in the thirteenth issue of Calling Spots in early 2015. For now, here are the categories and nominees for the 2015 Calling Spots Hall of Fame:
The nominees for contributions to British wrestling:
Jim, Jon and Glen – PROGRESS
Mark Dallas – ICW
Chris Brooker – Eros Comedy
The nominees for contributions to Calling Spots…
The nominees for contributions to professional wrestling…
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Thank you for reading. Here is the artwork by Paul Cooper celebrating last year’s Calling Spots Hall of Fame Class of 2014.